Wednesday, October 19, 2011

You know You are in INDIA when...

My PERSONAL observations of a day in India... PSYCHIC man!

1. You see the traffic police and the traffic signal clash with their functionality.(The signal turns green, but you see him flash his palm with full vigor and hasting the vehicles on all the other sides that are under the 'red' signal)

2. You find accidents happening in an 'Express highway' caused majorly
  • by the 'Daisee Dee Lingerie' hoardings of a firangi (white models NOT of India----Thank God for that!) 70 % chances.
  • by surprise craters and speed breakers that makes every normal homosapien a 'super hero' by making them fly with their vehicles and then making them a 'super zero' as they crash into the others. 20% chances.
  • by sudden 'special appearances' of buffaloes and stray dogs. How they crave for attention man. And how they end up bleeding red! 10% chances.

3. You find that a pale juice-less lemon and a bunch of green chilies are the driving force of any vehicle and NOT the engines.

4. You infer that the highways are for pedestrians and not for the vehicle. [Oh don't question about the foot paths. They are 'rightfully' occupied by the BPL( below poverty line) and with their invisible powers get a legal grant from the Govt. So beware! Don't 'encroach' on their space by taking the footpaths]

5. You find the roads painted with a colorful and abstract combination of' vermilion (dull or vibrant) and     shades of grey. The various artists behind such a 'mind-boggling' piece of art are the 'paan' chewers and     spitters who solely contribute the vermilion color. For the 'grey' inputs, one should honor the glorious     crows and pigeons. ( I firmly believe that crow should be our National bird.)

6. You find a beggar begging for alms and you notice his fingers and wrists 'bejeweled' with the 'nakshatra' stones (they tend to be intimidating sometimes).

7. You feel that the person is addressing to a crowd when in reality he is trying to sound audible to the one on the other side of his phone (and puts us on the receiving end-pun intended)

8. You find girls getting out of BMW and bargaining for a Rs.50/- (cost price) daily wear slippers on a road side sale.

9.  You find 'that' BMW doing rounds in the street in the process of finding 'free' parking space, finally getting to park and resulting in getting 'towed' as a result of being found in a 'NO' parking space.

10. When you find autos having 'highly sensitive' meters. I am not talking about their 'we jump with every road bump' motto. They carry very fancily written fonts exclaiming 'DO NOT TOUCH ME'.

I seriously can go ON and ON about how 'mahaan' MY India is. But I am working really hard on being grounded. So in the next post, I am coming up how 'mahaan' MY India is (in the literal sense). For now, some pictorial representation of my above points or more or less on the same lines.

I have credited the pictures apart from the 1st 2 that carry my Logo.


  1. LOL!
    You have got it down pat, right from the firangi models to the 'grey' matter:P

    And I liked the buswala picture:)

  2. Shant Gadadhari Bheem Shant!!

    Point-3 --> My bike always ran on petrol, nimbu-mirchi did not even touch it.

    BPLs are killed by BMW-errs, file a petition to get more BMWs on road if you want to walk to foothpath :)

    The Blunt Blog

  3. hahahah the pics are amazing...looks like this happens only in India... ting ting tiding :D ... you're one hell of a woman ;)

  4. Hahahahaahhaha... I couldn't stop singing the song.. ''this happens only in India..!!'' *doing the govinda step* :D:D:D

  5. hehehehe I had been a super heroine and a super zeroine ones, because of a sudden hump, which i swear to God was not there the previous day :P

    Great Pointers...they all are soo apt!
    Me too love the bus wala photo

  6. Good read! :)

    "I firmly believe that crow should be our National bird." Haha Epic!!!

  7. hehehe!! :P :P
    You know for quiet sometime i actually thought Crow was our national bird!! :P
    lol! :P the rickshaw meter picture is so funny! :P :P
    hehe! awesome post!


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