Sunday, September 25, 2011


The camera zooms onto the silicon induced, ripe bosoms of Rakhi Sawant. The focus then shifts to her smoky eyes and her 'biting' lips. All of a sudden the musical beats start thumping and she goes on with her usual jhataks and mataks with a dozen more sluttishly dressed dancers. As I nonchalantly watch the song and tap my feet to the beats, our maid absent-mindedly stops her mopping and stares at the TV with an awkward expression on her face. Amma notices her and shifts her attention to the TV and goes, "Ada Rama! Enna intha kaalathula vyavasthaye illaama pochu! Athunoondu thuni kuda yendi ava pottukkara? athaiyum thookki eriya vendiyathu thaane!" 

Literal translation: "Hai Ram! (no..she isn't greeting the lord...its a 'sighing' expression) There exists absolutely no sense in today's world! Why the hell is she even wear those tiny bits of clothes? Why doesn't she throw that away too?"

TRUST ME. Had she told this in the absence of our maid, I would have acted deaf (to her and not to the song). But unfortunately it was one of 'those' moments where I needed to notice it and ask her 'politely' to shut up. But my mom has a VERY bad habit of not catching my point and senselessly continuing to put me in a deeper embarrassing situation. So I had to think and reason out why item songs such as these are inevitable for the budding youth of today. Then I thought why not 'counter attack' her with the same fact???
"Oh! You have a problem watching Rakhi half-naked but you wouldn't stop watching Helen half-naked repeatedly in her Cabaret dance!"
With a jerk, she turns to me leaving behind the boiling vegetables on the stove. She walks with a heroic gait and points her huge spoon to me saying, "Helen was a professional! She had her skin dress on always! She was not like these cheap sluts! never!" I looked at her with a frozen expression, holding my breath for a second and waited to see fumes emitting from her nose and ears. When I was convinced she wasn't that heated up, I relaxed myself and replied, "Hello!(in a rowdily tone) Skin dress or no skin dress. People did 'gawk' and 'ogle' at her! She has dressed skinnier than Rakhi in her days! Dont you dare get me started!"

Helen in 'Sholay' item song
Rakhi in 'Krazzy 4' item song

My belief is that people have always been this horny and this wild. Just that we prefer to flaunt it or should I say real lazy to actually 'take care' of the exposure the way they did in the 70's. It is the era of 'post-modernism'! It is the era of 'brutal honesty'. Its the era of 'RAW'. We are just being in touch with our roots! (err...Early man that is!) One has got to live with it. Also, if not for such upfront movies, we would never have appreciated the subtle factor in the old ones.

See for yourself that the degree of intimacy has always been the same in the past too. Only that such films were made in lesser quantity as compared to today's.

 Seeta devi and Charu Roy in "Prapancha Pash"(1929)

I show this to Amma. She stares at it for a solid 1 minute. Then she turns to me and starts yelling, "No wonder you get such low score in college. Through out the day you keep wasting time writing blogs, editing pictures and facebooking. I seriously dont know when do you even study!" As she hastily escapes from my room, she gives me one last look and spills out, "I have lost all hopes in you". The glare lasts for a good 5 seconds and she hurries away before I could open my mouth about how irrelevant she is capable of being. 

And that remains yet another conclusion-less arguement with Amma the great!


  1. So true! Akila- I mean, when they don't have arguments anymore- we become hopeless.

    But I have some differences of opinion on this subject. I'll post a reply blog dedicated to this post after 6th! So long!

  2. LOl....hahah the last bit of dialog happens with me all the time :P ... but this was a cute post... But I think in olden times, even though the heroines wee skimpily clad, they still looked aesthetic.. But I think Rakhi is plain nonsense.. :P .. haha.. apart from that I think this post was real funny! :D

  3. @confused soul : Rakhi IS nonsense! but her moves are really good! :) n glad it tickled you! :D

  4. :D Mums ARE irrational, they take undue advantage of being Mums sometimes.

    And what you have pointed out is a very good point. Sleaze is not a recent development, it has been around for decades now; we just got bolder in the recent times. No point blaming Rakhi alone when Helen was a certified 'item'.

  5. @pee vee : aaah! MUMS! :D

    And i gess you are one of those few who is with me ! :) Thanx babe!

  6. It all depends how an individual perceives things. C, u saw her moves whereas ur mom saw her dress. Tats d clear example. Lik technology, being bolder hs also evolvd over yrs. Nt all ll accept d change. U gt 2 accept tat fact. And wit ur last conclusion, less argument nt just wit amma bt wit all closed ones ll b really gud.

  7. Good post, liked the conversation you had with your mum ... :-)

  8. Through out the day you keep wasting time writing blogs, editing pictures and facebooking. I seriously dont know when do you even study!" As she hastily escapes from my room, she gives me one last look and spills out, "I have lost all hopes in you". - I soooo get that toooo from my mum! :| She just doesn't understand that architecture is not about marks or mugging crappy theory stuff!!!... :|
    I HATEEEEE Rakhi sawant!! such a silicone filled drama queen!!! :P

  9. @Aakash Kokz

    haha! everyone like that part specifically! :D

  10. @Viya ;)

    architecture is one such field which is almost impossible for any 20th century parent to understand!!! so i usually listen to her and irritate her my shaking my head the robot way as if what she sez is music to my ears :D

  11. @Viya ;)

    I like her only for her effortless moves man...she is really good at it! otherwise...BLAAAAAAAH ! :D

  12. Lovely pictures.. Excellent writin.. Two things that struck me when I was finished readin this.. And hey thank you for following me as well... Am glad you did else I wld ve never stumbled upon your space.. (am sorry if that sounded stupid n rude... That's not what i meant..) coming to mom's.. I wonder did all of them attend similar classes ?? My mom almost said the same thing about item girls recently.. Plus the fact that they let you argue cos they want you to realise that they are open for opinions and discussion provided you knw the fact that they are always right... Its their way.. Or highway.. :D :)


  13. @superrrnickkk...!!! (any inclination to number 3 by any chance?)

    hahah! i donno about classes! but they have children who cant watch sleaze under covers anymore! :D

    P.S: You are permitted to be rude provided you leave a comment in my posts :P

  14. Oh.. Yeah.. The 3 r n k's are according to numerology for good luck in crime fighting n damsel rescues.. Not that am superstitious.. No no.. Just that being a superhero isn't easy... So a precautionary measure :) plus it gives that comic book fly away effect.. :D
    am sorry.. I am nut case.. In case you dint read about me in my blog :D
    yup.. Wil do visit n pour my heart out..wait a min..Comments are free right ?? ;) no hidden cost n all right ??? :p

  15. @superhero : (that easier to type man!)

    FYI, your blog 'screams' about your possessed super-power (that u claim)! :P

    We need nut cases to crack people up...serious ones can get admitted in nearby cheers and hoots to US NUT CASES! :D

    now that you have asked..can I have your bank acc id and password please? :P

  16. Advertisement madam.. This is 21st century.. Nobody gives a damn abt a superhero... I low on my PR points as well.. Hence the attempt.. N Oh no.. No bank accounts.. I take cheque or cash.. Can't trust those buggers..!! Also to mention.. I also take pizzas, chocolate cakes.. KFC, mac D happy meals..dinner treats.. Beer.. Coffee at Gloria Jeans.. Feel free to choose the convenient option.. Am game for anything :):)

  17. You know what you were spot on but one word of advice watch the film when your mum goes to sleep. This is lot easier than justifying to your mum, who is always right even when she is wrong.

    I never knew Rakhi Sawant was filled with sillicone , I thougt this only happens in west not in india. Now i'm going home to cry.
    still not bad as a wank material.

  18. Entertaining post!! :D enjoyed reading it!

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  20. I really enjoyed reading that :) Lol, the last bit when your mum went off on you at a rant. Hahahaha!


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