Friday, October 28, 2011

LOVE, SEX and DHOKA- connecting with self

All was fine until I stumbled upon this link. My day was filled with myriad of emotions---ecstasy, bliss, happiness, anger, and satisfaction until this post made me sad in a very helpless way. This isn't the first time I have heard stories from the red light area. But what disturbed me was her (Anukriti's) inferences from her interactions with the sex workers. 
By the end of the article, my immediate reaction was to agree with Anukriti (the author of the post), shut myself in my room and curse the world for its ugly reality. Unfortunately I seemed to be more 'intrigued' and less 'affected' by the post. A number of things popped in my mind at a time, each one trying to beat the other.

Arranged marriage, emotion, suicides, Love sex aur Dhoka- the movie, photography, drugs, love marriage, death, diseases, life, nirvana, detachment.

TRUST ME. Even I was unable to figure out the connection between these words at once. A human mind races so fast that it beats the speed of light! So I took the effort of rewinding my thought process and playing it in a super slow mode.


I remember discussing about love and arranged marriage with my bestie. We were trying to picture ourselves in both situations. "I cant imagine getting physical with him for at least 3 months of marriage", she expressed, in case of an arranged one. "That is obvious Aki! I would be marrying an acquaintance if not a total stranger! I shall have to fall in love with him first to get to the next level! After all 'sex' isn't everything!", she concluded.
"If it is an arranged marriage, she better be damn good looking! I would be more greedy and demanding in that case. Sex is a need for all guys. Also, a person who says 'looks' aren't important, I would ask him/her to hump his/her partner's character and nature!", expressed my closest of guy friends (this led to a heated mini-verbal tiff between us). So does the whole world revolve around sex after all??? I say, unless I establish the 'connection', I can never give myself wholly in the act, be it love or an arranged one. So for people like me, emotion is very important. 

Emotion during the 'act' is what differentiates me from a 'prostitute'. I am not denying that they are devoid of any kind of emotions in life. But then its 'business' to them. The whole world agrees to the famous saying, "In business, there is no place for emotions". And this is one business that has a history tracing back to some 100 BC ! They never incurred loss; thanks to the ever hungry horny men of all times! Sex is so 'sought out' for, that it drives a person to the extent of betraying one's trust.  Hundreds of innocent women have been video taped while being fooled to have been fallen for. Somehow, its always a woman who loses her honor after having lost her virginity and the society has succeeded in making her feel guilty. The whole 'being alienated' and 'betrayal' saga leaves one no choice but to opt for suicide. Most people opt for drugs to come out of the suicidal phase of life. It invariably invites some really fatal diseases and culminating in death.

This whole video-tapism and sexual exploitment reminded me of LOVE, SEX aur DHOKA movie. Never have I seen such a brilliantly choreographed and well stitched movie shot with a really low budget! Its a must watch for those who have missed it. I loved the hidden camera stunts in the movie. I personally have stealthily clicked innumerable 'timely' pictures of my friends and family and end up getting cursed for my inimitable talent! Hidden photography seems to have defined me! (oh shit...topic deviation alert!)

You know guyz? Prostitutes are just one step behind of attaining 'nirvana'. YES, you heard me right. They have experienced the so called 'highest of pleasures' that ever exists in the world. They would have by now realized that it isn't anything close to divinity at all! That makes them partially 'self-realized' already! All they have to work on is detaching themselves from materialistic life. As for us common folks, we will have to work on both; emotional as well as materialistic detachment. 


I am amazed at how random yet connected my thoughts can be after reading my own post. This was what I had always wanted to know! For the first time, I have proved to myself that my thoughts do have some serious meaning attached to them! Penning them down (in this case typing) with 'teeth-gritting' patience really helped me connect with my 'serious' self! I am glad I did this!

P.S : This post was neither about my opinion on 'sex' nor on 'prostitution'. It was all about knowing how my thoughts travel. But I do have some serious voicing of opinions to do on sex. I shall take time as I am still unclear as to why exactly it disturbs me. So that post shall come up after a few 'typically akila' types posts! 
Though I do wish my readers take me seriously, I really cant stop being my 'silly' self! When I was typing about the 'hidden photography' talent in me, I was tempted to share this with you! So here goes!

This woman slept in this very position for almost 50 mins!!!
I know....I can be 'impossible'! :D


  1. okay! i really dunno how to react to this post after reading the 'nirvana' part... Oh man! seriously?!!!
    annnd this post reminded of me when someone suggested 'why don't you design a brothel?' for your thesis!...
    oh man!! your 'impossible' fhotugraphee skhills!! :P :P

  2. I'm in love, yes, but I've always wanted an arranged marriage. I think the whole concept of it leading to sex shouldn't be the point. Yes, we have emotions and we MUST take and be given time to express our love in a more physical level. It's not a routine or pre-planned, it just comes out naturally. People shouldn't be forced into submission, because even the act of sex has some beauty.

    Of late, I've been reading a lot about sex and prostitution. Sometimes my heart reaches out to them and when I read stories about why a woman turned to a sex worker, sometimes it sounds like there wasn't a reasonable explanation and sometimes it's too painful.

    "In business, there is no place for emotions"- Heard that a zillion times. But emotion doesn't just restrict itself to love, or pleasure. There is something beyond. These women have emotions. While, we may feel love or passion, they feel pain, guilt, remorse. They probably have thoughts running back to their household, where they have a starving kid, an ailing mother, and her own life. She is definitely not devoid of emotions. And no matter what happens SUICIDE is not an answer. You're just motivating those people to carry on with their heinous act. It's time people realise, that they need to fight back and get justice. We expect a developed nation, but we don't work for it. Aren't we just going on with our lives, without thinking of others?

    LSD- haven't seen. Want to and will do that pretty soon.
    On a lighter note, the image is soo funny. You're crazy Akila :D

    P.S. sorry for the looooooonnnnnngg comment. Couldn't stop my flow of thoughts :P

  3. Have you watched The Whistleblower? You should. And I want you to write a review on it as well, as per your convenience.

    And that lady, LOL:D Talent, macha, talent:D

  4. Ah well! I can relate to what you are saying however I have read about women who were call girls wishfully and they did that for money. And they do get emotional about it. One woman who later became an expensive escort, mentioned men did not want to sleep with her, they just wanted to talk and she made good money by just talking. She had a connection with her emotional and profound connection.

    And well, they do become money one point or the other.

    As far as arranged marriage is concerned, can be dogs...

  5. Ok so here is the thing....Some of my friends jokingly say that they are going for prostitution coz their parents dont give them enuff pocket money, And I know a certain someone who I think is already into it.

    People are stupid sometimes!
    I loved this and I second your thoughts. I dint or could not read the linked post but yours baby was crisp!

  6. @shreya : WOOHOO! That was one helluva comment! :D Thanx babe! I wanted a discussion to occur. I totally agree with you. I did say they do have emotions. But Shreya. Even if they get their lives back (by coming out of prostitution), our bloddy society will hardly let them 'live'. Also, the fact that they have emotions attached to their family, household and kids is the every reason they wanna earn in some possible way and end up yielding to the pressure!

    Yes I know I am craajjyy! :D :D :D

    @PeeVee : No babe..Not yet! Now that 'you' have recommended, I will do it soon and come up with a 'dhamaal' review! :)

    @BB : yeah I hve heard of those 'willingly falling into traps' waale log..See ots none of my busines sif they choose it with full senses. But I hate it when they lament, crib and later feel guilty about it!

    @Red handed : haha! Mine wasnt about emotions alawl babe..but hers was..she seems to have been terribly affected by the red light life saga.
    hey words emoted. :)

  7. @viya: u know that sactually a v interesting topic for a thesis babe...but it takes hell lot of PASSION! :/

  8. @Akila: as per your blog suggestion I read the post and then this- but by the end of yours I forgot what she had written only!
    Anyways- yeah like you said Emotions are very important and I wouldn't want to get intimate unless we felt "that connection".
    And LOL nirvana! Seriously! That's a bit too crazy even for you! I mean- that article talked about such gruesome things- they would hardly experience anything remotely pleasurable-unless, like the others pointed out they had voluntarily chosen to be one!

    and that picture of the sleeping woman!hehe! 50 minutes eh? you timed her sleep and also took a picture! Semma man!

  9. toooo much of guts and passion babe.. :| and even though prostitution is legal in India, concept of brothels and pimps are not really accepted.. and even if you do have a passion for that topic and are ready to work really hard on the analysis and case studies, if you get a screwed up juror, ennntttire thesis goes kaput!... :|

  10. @apee : I gess I resolved your doubt in Facebook :P

    @Viya : TRUE THAT... :( INDIAN EDU SYSTEM is too narrow minded!

  11. veryyyy :( :( i had a tough time convincing the thesis committee... annnnd are you guys allowed to choose sites outside India for thesis?


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