HOMOSEXUALITY with Paati - A STRAIGHT talk.

"Ahilaaa? Ahilaaa! Ahilaaa???!!! Indha kodumaiya paaren!" ( watch this insanity!)
With a 'tch' I put Charley Sheen (of Two and a Half men) on mute and walked into my Paati's (grandmother's) room and found her sitting at the edge of the bed with her legs bent at her knees, almost touching the floor. Her eyes were protruded and her eyebrows raised making a few folds on her forehead while her mouth was unconsciously open. The last time I saw her this disturbed was when I had very cheerfully asked her when she would die. In my defense I was only 8.
With a perfectly erect spine, she was watching Aamir Khan's 'Satyameva Jatate' on Vijay TV(a Tamizh channel that sincerely dubs all the programs of Star Plus). Aamir Khan appeared to be speaking in Tamizh. It killed me. I couldn't stand there for another second. Just when I decided to do an about turn, I heard a woman talking about how she had to divorce her husband because she realised that she was a lesbian. Awkward #1. I pulled the very common faking a phone call act and got out of her room. I got back to watching Charley and realising that he makes me so gay.

You Never Know

Her eyes were fixed on the scan reports for a good 5 mins. I could make out that she had deciphered what it was in a minute but she was taking time to frame the sentences right in order to save me from a heart attack. She finally looked at me, from above her square spectacles that was almost about to slip off her waxy perfectly sculpted nose and heavily sighed.

"Your daughter has been smoking."

Let Us Be.

Love is a necessity. Its probably one of those 'I don't know why but I need it' kind of a thing in our lives. But how needy can one get that it completely over shadows the other silly-cute-small beautiful things that happen at every moment in one's life? Why are we blinded for that one desperate moment? Its unforgivable to allow ourselves to let one of the many kinds of desperation to take over us so much that we miss those priceless irreplaceable happy moments that we encounter everyday.

Life, death and the Immortal virus.

And Death shall be no more;

Death, thou shall die!

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And Death shall be no more,

Death thou shall die.

Repetition? No. Noticing the punctuations? Yes. Is that the only difference? No. You might pelt stones at me but I am forced to say that the difference is as huge as Shakespeare's and Hellen Garner's works. That is what I learnt today after watching Emma Thompson re-living her life whilst battling her insidious ovarian cancer of the 4th stage with pernicious side effects.
  
WIT (2001). Life and death begin as mere entities that may give birth to a complex body of work with a lot of scope for word play. They seem abstract. They seem to make Poetry. Slowly, they become personal; so personal that there lasts no more word plays or abstraction. Humanity takes over creativity. Feelings take over grey matter. Emotions take over a strong will. Emma Thompson aka Vivian Bearing is the kinds who makes fun of her own misery. Plain cold humour.

SHE is the MAN!

Everytime you reach that milestone you have set for yourself and are just about to bask in glory, you come across someone who has done it all and is calm about it. I mean, whats their problem? Why do they have to intimidate us so much? Yen? Kyun? Why? Ahem. *drinking jillu thanni*#tamizh

Well this post is all about that one woman in my life, who would give any man, a competition in the highest degree of masculinity. She is THE man. She is SHARADHA.

Why I LOVE myself

Its such an easy thought. But my answers can get a little edgy. Read on!

I am nice. 

I am eccentric.

I am modern in thought.

I am traditional in dressing up.

I am a free thinker.

I am an enthusiast.

Reality called LOVE

There was a lot of hush-hush talks he could hear. Distant echos and erratic ring tones filled the lobby. But above all, it was the thumping of his heart that was more audible. By now, the news had sunk into him. She will be soon dead.

I follow ALL / NO religion

I remember quoting my own quote on Facebook a few months ago, to be precise on 11 FEB 2011, 3.52 PM that read,

NEVER try to 'define' GOD.....LOVE....and definitely not ARCHITECTURE!

I still talk this abstract. Manufacturing defect you see.  But enough of it. I have had enough of this eccentric avatar of mine. After a lot of muddled up talks with my clear headed friends and family members, I realised the UGLY TRUTH that most of my beliefs and thoughts are not at all well thought of. There hasn't been enough introspection or contemplation for many of my inferences. It was such a hard hitting reality for me. The 'ego' within me that had been in hibernation mode for years was hesitantly awoken. I finally decided to break down this jargon abstractions to atomic simplicity.

Benevolent Ms.Confused soul

I have earned a fan. Yes. A fan. No I am not being proud. I am just admitting a fact here.
You know for sure that you have earned a fan when each picture of yours on Facebook is viewed, liked and commented with ecstasy. You know for sure that you have earned a fan when you are given utmost attention, the level which you wouldn't have imagined. You 'definitely' know for sure that you have earned a fan when he/she claims to be one every time you strike conversations with them. And hell yeah! You 'confirm' that you have earned a fan when you are awarded more than once for your not so famous blog.
My dear bro...ahem...'hotties' and sisters!
Presenting you, that one fan who isn't tired of me yet---Shreya Zachariah a.k.a  Confused Soul!

The PARADOX that you are to me.

You are my morning cup of tea
and that missing note in my melody.

You are the frame of my picture
and that tiny hole in the fixture.

You are the bloom on my scrubbed face
and that grey hair underneath the dark waves of grace.

You are the teeth that make my smile
and that very tooth that nibbles on my nail.

You are my dark fantasy
and that sharp bitter delicacy.

INTIMIDATION

25 NOVEMBER 2010

Looks like tiny pores on a blanket of mysterious blue,

Blinking helplessly as if stuck in place with glue.

Natures miracles they say...its true I say...

How can such a simple composition be a beauty?

DAUGHTER it is!

"How did you react when the nurse announced that you have given birth to a girl child?" , I asked my mom with my 'almost popping out' eyes. With a genuine and casual smile she replied "I was happy. I had always wanted a daughter. I wouldn't have minded a son but I never 'wanted' one."

You can say it is in blood or be mean enough to coin a 'feminist' tag on me.

YES. I WANT A DAUGHTER. 

I do not care if I am married or a single mother.

I do not care if my husband would be okay with it or my family for that reason. 

I do not care if she would attract all sorts of 'sick' guys around her in her adulthood

or snap at me to stay out of her life.

I WANT A DAUGHTER.

I bring out the BEST in YOU!

No, I need not be your better half to do that. I can just be a really benevolent, grounded, kind, concerned and caring soul who is interested in inspiring others! In short, I can just be ME! ( Okay stop those fake coughs and loud giggles # ego bruised)
So fellas! I am pretty sure when you own slim and sexy laptops and pay for unlimited internet to blog, comment and watch videos (ahem...of your choice), you must be rich enough to own a digi-camera??? NO? Don't wait till your NRI brother gifts you one you misers! Use your mobile ATM (of corz you DAD) and get sexier!
For those who own one, you are allowed to shriek out loud and post on your fb status bars..." Akila is finally imparting her impeccable photography skills with her crajeee fans!" ( or something on the same lines)

Before commencing my lecture on how to hold the camera, the following are very important points to be noted.

MY IMMORTAL

Yet another face of mine fellas :) That's me performing on MY IMMORTAL by EVANESCENCE with my bestie Karthik, an ace guitar player! :)
I feel this would majorly connect me with you all! :)

10 things 'I' hate about You

Nasty sis -left;  pretty sis -right. Duh!

Pretty sister: Where did you come from ??? Planet LOSER?

Nasty sister: Oh yes as opposed to planet ‘Look at me! Look at me!”

(I rewind…play…rewind…play…frantically rewind…play…and ROFLMAO !!! )

Ever since I watched ’10 things I hate about you’, I succumbed to Hollywood. Julia Stiles surely did the job! I owe it to you Julia! Such a brilliantly hilarious yet casual yet intimate yet exhilarating yet senseless yet addictive movie shouldn’t be just watched, laughed and forgotten about unless it is timely played as one among the 10 mundane collections of movies on Sony Pix. It should inspire you and linger in your mind and body for a while.

The DEVIL that the mind is!

She sat there twirling her hair strand looking at him from the corner of her eye. A bright pink figure hugging tee that flaunted her waxed shoulders completely, a short denim skirt that stopped right below her buttocks and a high fake leather brown boots; she was a perfect 10. None could have resisted gawking at her that day. And there he was, sitting quietly, sipping on his cup of steaming coffee and reading the sports page in the newspaper. She was desperate for his attention. For the first ever time she was insecure about her looks.

FACEBOOK made me KEWL!

While every second person is bored to death with Mark Z's creation, I am all praises of FB for various reasons.
1. I got to know people who are head over heals in love with me!
2. I re-gained many people in my life who I thought I can not even dream of being in touch with!
3. I got to flaunt my talent effortlessly and 'earn' some serious and super crajii fans!
4. I finally got over the 'idiot box'-- (the crappy cartoons and wanna-be reality shows helped me get over TV sooner!)
5. I got 'all the more' creative and humorous! :D

LOVE, SEX and DHOKA- connecting with self

http://www.the-nri.com/index.php/2011/10/prostitution-and-sex-india/

All was fine until I stumbled upon this link. My day was filled with myriad of emotions---ecstasy, bliss, happiness, anger, and satisfaction until this post made me sad in a very helpless way. This isn't the first time I have heard stories from the red light area. But what disturbed me was her (Anukriti's) inferences from her interactions with the sex workers. 

By the end of the article, my immediate reaction was to agree with Anukriti (the author of the post), shut myself in my room and curse the world for its ugly reality. Unfortunately I seemed to be more 'intrigued' and less 'affected' by the post. A number of things popped in my mind at a time, each one trying to beat the other.

Arranged marriage, emotion, suicides, Love sex aur Dhoka- the movie, photography, drugs, love marriage, death, diseases, life, nirvana, detachment.

TRUST ME. Even I was unable to figure out the connection between these words at once. A human mind races so fast that it beats the speed of light! So I took the effort of rewinding my thought process and playing it in a super slow mode.

The day it 'ENDED'----- Scene 3-The finale!

I KNOW! I KNOW! I am BERY BERY SAARIII !!! :(
I was totally caught up with my last minute submissions and some serious photography! I wont keep you waiting anymore! So after this prequel and this sequel, here goes the rest!

As she landed on the cushioned bed with full force, her heart skipped a beat due to the unexpected phone call. He grabbed the opportunity to breathe in enough oxygen and let out a 'Phew!'. The phone sang, 'Lets make a night...to remember...' with amazing electronic guitar backing. As she fumbled to take out the mobile from her pocket, he rolled on her with a loud wicked laughter almost scaring her! She struggled her way to prevent him from getting any closer to her as she managed to get hold of her phone clumsily from her pocket. He watched her reaction shift from orgasmic smile to an unpleasant shock. He froze looking at her and saw her staring at him with her almond shaped eyes almost popping out. She hushed him and took the call.

You know You are in INDIA when...

My PERSONAL observations of a day in India... PSYCHIC man!


1. You see the traffic police and the traffic signal clash with their functionality.(The signal turns green, but you see him flash his palm with full vigor and hasting the vehicles on all the other sides that are under the 'red' signal)

2. You find accidents happening in an 'Express highway' caused majorly

• by the 'Daisee Dee Lingerie' hoardings of a firangi (white models NOT of India----Thank God for that!) 70 % chances.
• by surprise craters and speed breakers that makes every normal homosapien a 'super hero' by making them fly with their vehicles and then making them a 'super zero' as they crash into the others. 20% chances.
• by sudden 'special appearances' of buffaloes and stray dogs. How they crave for attention man. And how they end up bleeding red! 10% chances.